Historically speaking, my yearly 'resolve' has largely been developed independently of my faith. That is not to say that I do not have a 'resolve' or two that is overtly spiritual. Rather those, which are spiritual, do not serve as the thread that weaves each resolve into a tapestry of a life lived with God. For instance, here are a few old annual 'resolves' (truthfully I don't actually develop New Year Resolutions any longer - rather I celebrate the birthdays of those that have remain unfulfilled) to illustrate my point:
- I resolve to decrease debt.
- I resolve to exercise more.
- I resolve to read the Bible daily.
- I resolve to go to church more frequently.
- I resolve to quit biting my fingernails (this one, by the way, is celebrating its 23rd birthday this year - Happy Birthday, number 5).
Do you see what I mean? These 'resolves' are largely independent of one another and highly autonomous. They are just a 'list' - a check list if you will. All check lists are independent. An 'independent' check list masquerading as resolution gives us room to fail and still succeed. We can 'check' a few and ignore the others. We often create resolves in the form of a check list so that we can feel pretty good about ourselves even in the midst of failure. This is what it means to be American. Perhaps it is what it means to be human.
The check list mentality described above leaves me longing for more. This longing seeks to resist the urge to manage and direct my growth and embraces the urge to surrender and submit for my growth. As such I have begun to consider a few deeper questions in relation to this year's resolution.
Such a 'giving over' might result in 'resolve' that looks more like a narrative of God's transformative power in my life and less like a check list of all the things I think I can accomplish on my own.
Such questions drive me back to one of my 'core realities for spiritual formation': Spiritual Formation is God's work.
What is required of me in this work of Spiritual formation, however, is the willingness to be 'open to what He wants to do and how He wants to do it.' It requires a 'resolve' to let go of the controls I have placed on my life and be vulnerable before God. This is difficult and brings us into a position of 'discomfort' before God. We don't do discomfort exceptionally well. A glaring biblical example of discomfort before the Lord would be the whore that is publicly humiliated in front of the religious officials and taken before Jesus for judgment. She was a sinner, full of sin, caught in the act of sin. Her position before Christ was one of humiliation and discomfort.
He saw her clearly.
What would he do?
How would he respond?
Resolve that is formed by our Spiritual Transformation takes courage. Such courage is found in this passage and many others throughout the pages of Scripture. Such a position before Christ is required because when we encounter Him, in all of His glory and grace, we need to know that we offer nothing to aid Him in His quest to transform us. We lay face down in the dirt; naked and humbled. Discomforted before Him and the crowd. This and this alone is the moment of change, and it is the place where true resolve finds its grit.
Here is what Jesus knew: this woman, a sinner, full of sin, caught in the act of sin was brought to his feet by people who were sinners, full of sin, caught in the act of sin. The irony of this story is rich at many levels. What strikes me, however, is the fact that only one left changed that day. There was only one who was Spiritual Formed: she who sat in the discomfort of God. The others who sought to control the situation, demanding judgment, left unchanged by this powerful and compassion filled moment in the life of Christ.
So, here is an exercise I am going to try this last week of 2012 and the opening weeks of 2013. Before I write my 'resolve', I am going to ask Christ to deal with me in discomfort and to find Him and His grace even when I am faced down in the dirt, humiliated before people with little love and even less patience. The exercise is actually a prayer. It is a prayer handed down to us from the pen of St. Augustine. If I pray this daily, I might just get to the place where I am open to the trans formative power that comes in the discomfort of God. Perhaps then my 'resolve' will be formed by my faith into a narrative of God grace rather than a checklist of my own controls.
What if my faith - the spiritual journey and the desire for spiritual transformation - formed my resolve this year?
What if Spiritual transformation became my resolve?
What if Spiritual formation were the fabric upon which the resolve of my life were knit?
What if I gave my life over to the comprehensive and unending love and grace of God this year?
Such a 'giving over' might result in 'resolve' that looks more like a narrative of God's transformative power in my life and less like a check list of all the things I think I can accomplish on my own.
Such questions drive me back to one of my 'core realities for spiritual formation': Spiritual Formation is God's work.
What is required of me in this work of Spiritual formation, however, is the willingness to be 'open to what He wants to do and how He wants to do it.' It requires a 'resolve' to let go of the controls I have placed on my life and be vulnerable before God. This is difficult and brings us into a position of 'discomfort' before God. We don't do discomfort exceptionally well. A glaring biblical example of discomfort before the Lord would be the whore that is publicly humiliated in front of the religious officials and taken before Jesus for judgment. She was a sinner, full of sin, caught in the act of sin. Her position before Christ was one of humiliation and discomfort.
He saw her clearly.
What would he do?
How would he respond?
Resolve that is formed by our Spiritual Transformation takes courage. Such courage is found in this passage and many others throughout the pages of Scripture. Such a position before Christ is required because when we encounter Him, in all of His glory and grace, we need to know that we offer nothing to aid Him in His quest to transform us. We lay face down in the dirt; naked and humbled. Discomforted before Him and the crowd. This and this alone is the moment of change, and it is the place where true resolve finds its grit.
Here is what Jesus knew: this woman, a sinner, full of sin, caught in the act of sin was brought to his feet by people who were sinners, full of sin, caught in the act of sin. The irony of this story is rich at many levels. What strikes me, however, is the fact that only one left changed that day. There was only one who was Spiritual Formed: she who sat in the discomfort of God. The others who sought to control the situation, demanding judgment, left unchanged by this powerful and compassion filled moment in the life of Christ.
So, here is an exercise I am going to try this last week of 2012 and the opening weeks of 2013. Before I write my 'resolve', I am going to ask Christ to deal with me in discomfort and to find Him and His grace even when I am faced down in the dirt, humiliated before people with little love and even less patience. The exercise is actually a prayer. It is a prayer handed down to us from the pen of St. Augustine. If I pray this daily, I might just get to the place where I am open to the trans formative power that comes in the discomfort of God. Perhaps then my 'resolve' will be formed by my faith into a narrative of God grace rather than a checklist of my own controls.
The prayer is below. Perhaps it will shape your resolve as well!
the shape of desire!
Biz
Prayer for the New Year
O Lord, the house of my soul is narrow; enlarge it that thou mayest enter in.
It is ruinous. O repair it! It displeases thy sight; I confess it, I know.
But who shall cleanse it, or to whom shall I cry but unto thee?
Cleans me of my secret faults, O Lord, and spare they servant from strange sins.
-- St. Augustine
It is ruinous. O repair it! It displeases thy sight; I confess it, I know.
But who shall cleanse it, or to whom shall I cry but unto thee?
Cleans me of my secret faults, O Lord, and spare they servant from strange sins.
-- St. Augustine
