Tell me what you want, what you really, really want!

I enjoy reading.  Before Kindle and e readers became all the fad I typically kept about 6 books 'going' at all times.  Now that number seems to have tripled.  A bit overwhelming.  So, with all those unfinished reads stored in my e-library, I have no idea why I decided to pick up a book my wife has been reading.  I am, however, glad I did.

I do not intend to read the entire book.  However, as I opened to a page toward the back of the book my eyes were drawn to a paragraph which Melissa had already underlined.  The paragraph opens with a question I have been unable to shake since it confronted me three days ago. 

PAUSE . . .

The pause is for you; the reader of this blog.  If you do not want to be confronted by your own lack of desire for a truly God ward life (as was I), then the pause is your chance to get out.  It is a side door.  An open window.  An evacuation route.  An escape hatch.  Take it.  Take it now!  Go back to whatever you were doing before you decided to 'kill a moment of time' by reading this blog.  Go read that headline you have already read a dozen times.  Go play that game you have played for the last decade of your life . . .

Now, for those of you who have not taken the escape hatch I am going to quote the paragraph in its entirety.  It will form the final section of this blog.  Though you may choose not to linger with these words, I suspect they will linger with you!

How badly do I want the deep communion? . . . Communion with God, what was broken in the Garden, this is wholly restored when I want the God-communion more than I want the world-consumption.  What that first and catastrophic sin of ingratitude ruptured, what that one bite of the forbidden fruit stole from those fully alive - union - can be repaired by exact inverse of the Garden; lifestyle gratitude and a willingness to eat of the bread He gives in this moment.  How badly do I want to return to perfect Paradise, walk with God in the cool of the evening, be fully alive?  "O my soul, thou art capable of enjoying God, woe to thee if thou art contented with anything less than God,"  Francis de  Sales gently, rightly urges.  Does earth have anything I desire but Him?  I have to ask it.  And I know the answer. . .

Taken from, One Thousand Gifts, pages 220-221, by Ann Voskamp.

the shape of Desire

Biz

Habits that shape our Love of the Game!

How often have you been aware of God's presence within the last 24 hours?  Once?  Twice?  Not at all?  Being aware of the presence of God requires focus.  Our normal routines do not lend themselves to easily detecting and responding to the presence of God.  While we may not be able to change our routines (wake up, eat, work, exercise, read, spend time with others, etc.) we might be able to establish habits that would 'open' us to God's presence in and through our daily routine.  So, in this blog I pose the following question:

What habit(s), I wonder, might we practice that would aid us in our quest to 'celebrate the presence of God'?

I love the game of baseball.  I love every level; from the tiniest t-baller to the most overpaid professional.  Baseball is a game of focus and habits.  When I coached little league I often experienced a 'bird's eye view' of this reality.  As I taught 'habits' to the boys and girls I also encouraged them to focus on doing the right things.   Habit formation in little league ball players began with discovering what I called counter intuitive behavior.  For instance, rather than trying to dodge a fast moving ball bouncing precariously on the hardened clay, I coached them to get in the way of the ball.  Counter intuitive behavior.  Of course I would coach them in steps - one habit at a time -  and helped them practice the necessary habits once learned.  I would, for example, show them how to 'square their shoulders,' 'stay on their toes,' 'put their glove hand out front,' 'keep their rear down,' etc.    Over time they would no longer think of this as 'counter intuitive' - the thought would become habit - their body would take over and the habit would control their actions.  A young player early in the season, who practiced the habits consistently was a markedly different player by the time the season came to a close.

One of the difficulties we always faced was the fans.  Every boy and girl always wanted to please their parents, grand parents, friends, etc. (the sooner a parent learns this simple truth, the easier the game becomes for the player (and coach)).  In fact, it was not uncommon for them to be so concerned about how the fans were responding that their level of play would fall off considerably - terrible cycle.  So, as a coach, it was my job to teach them focus (and keep the fans as quite and kind as possible - the former was definitely more achievable than the latter).  I would often say, 'it is just you and the ball.  Nothing more, nothing less.'  The players who grabbed this concept always seemed to function better.  This simple idea allowed them to freely lean into and execute the habits they had practiced.  In my mind, we as Christians would do well to develop this type of focus as a habit.  We need a regular rhythm that pushes out all the distractions and enables us to be more in tune with God's Presence and His Spirit on a daily basis.

Perhaps a fictitious baseball player named Billy Chapel might provide insight into this quest. Billy Chapel is the famed (though fictitious) baseball player featured in the film, For the Love of the Game. The film utilizes baseball (actually one game of baseball; a 'perfect game') as a metaphor for life; its dreams, desires and disasters. As the film unfolds Billy, at the twilight of his career, is pitching a perfect game (for those of us who do not follow baseball, that means he has faced the minimum number of batters, allowing no hits in the process).  Throughout the game, as he is on the mound, his thoughts drift to unfulfilled dreams, dashed hopes, and missed opportunities.  Added to all of this, the setting is the Bronx where the fans are infamous for distractions.  In nearly every scene the Yankee fans seek to confound this present moment - that of throwing a perfect game. In order to overcome these distractions, he developed a habit he called, 'clearing the mechanism.' It was quite simple. He would 'center' himself on what mattered and only what mattered.  In this moment of 'centering' he would say to himself, "clear the mechanism." 

Thirty Second Clip from "The Love of the Game"

http://youtu.be/WF8KJZev7u0

For centuries Christians of various stripes have practiced a habit called 'The Examen.' The Examen is a weekly and daily rhythm of 'self examination' - it is the practice of 'clearing the mechanism.'  Ruth Haley Barton, in her book, Sacred Rhythms, suggests that we practice this habit within the context of God's amazing grace as we retire at the end of each day. She even gives us some helpful questions we might ask:

How was God present with me today?

What promptings did I notice?

How did I respond or not respond?

If your are like me, then you struggle with remaining aware of and celebrating the continuous presence of God.  Take a moment tonight and try clearing the mechanism.  If this helps you focus, then take this habit to work.  Stop at lunch and practice and see if your routine becomes a moment of celebration.  Over time, it is habits such as this that lead to human flourishing and a real experience of 'loving the game' - distractions and all!!

the shape of desire.

Biz

Since When Did 30 Become the New 18 and Why is That Okay?

Emerging Adulthood.  That's the new name for an entire generation of humanity caught somewhere between the ages of 18 and 30 with no clue about what it means to be an Adult.  There are many interesting articles and books that note this phenomenon.  Much of the current scholarship (though not all) is consumed with dubbing this 'postponed adulthood' as unavoidable to modern life.  In fact, one such author encourages us to accept its permanency and learn to cope with it as a fixed cultural reality.  I, however, do not believe it is a phenomenon we need to accept.  Rather, I suspect that it must be reversed and will suggest at least one practice/habit which holds both the promise and power of change.

An example of this phenomenon is captured the following quote taken from a 2010 article in the NY Times Magazine:

"The 20s are a black box, and there is a lot of churning in there. One-third of people in their 20s move to a new residence every year. Forty percent move back home with their parents at least once. They go through an average of seven jobs in their 20s, more job changes than in any other stretch. Two-thirds spend at least some time living with a romantic partner without being married. And marriage occurs later than ever. The median age at first marriage in the early 1970s, when the baby boomers were young, was 21 for women and 23 for men; by 2009 it had climbed to 26 for women and 28 for men, five years in a little more than a generation." http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?pagewanted=all

The author in the above article cites the work of Jeffery Arnett (a leading voice on this cultural phenomenon) when explaining what is taking place during these important years.  Arnett, who embraces this phenomenon as one that is here to stay, notes five characteristics of this transition:

1. Identity Exploration
2. Instability
3. Self Focus
4. Feeling in - between
5. Sense of Possibility

Stop.  Read them again.  Sounds like my middle school er.  Seriously.  Arnett notes the uniqueness of these five characteristics to this new phase of life.  But, if you are a parent of anyone ages 8 - 15 then you have already noticed all five of these taking place in the life of your child - sometimes all at once (those moments are called train wrecks).  Yes, what he describes as a unique profile to this age or season is in anything but unique.

So, here is where I differ with current and prevailing thought on the subject.  What is being described as a new reality to embrace, should be recognized as a failure to fully engage our young people in significant adult centered moments during their formative years.  While the current question being asked is 'how can this phenomenon be embraced and encouraged?'  The question we should be asking is, 'Why has this happened and what can be done to reverse the trend?'

WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED?
There are many reasons why this has happened which date back as far as the Industrial Revolution and the Enlightenment Period.  If I were to write a book on the subject (which I am neither inclined nor equipped to do), I would list the following 'cultural indicators' that help us identify the why behind the is:

1. A Culture of Age Segregation.
2. A Culture of Instant Gratification.
3. A Culture of Entitlement.
4. A Culture of Virtual Reality.
5. A Culture of Over Protective and Fear - Filled parents.

All five are important.  But in my mind these five form something like a funnel whereby those that follow build upon those that have gone before.  Thus in this model Age Segregation is the chief culprit - the core around which the others find their place and power.  If one esteems the value of 'age segregation' as we have in this country, then one needs to prepare themselves for the outcomes.  Age segregation is the doorway into the world of instant gratification, entitlement mentality, virtual reality and over protection. If we can effectively address this, then the others may actually self-correct.

A Culture of Age Segregation.  In nearly every phase of a young person's life,  his or her activities involve little or no significant interaction with adults in their community and their world.  The importance of this cannot be overstated.  If we believe the truth behind the cliche, 'more is caught than taught,' then much of what our young people learn (i.e. 'catch') is that which comes from their peers, not from adults.  Ouch.

What power might there be in a young person's life if they were exposed, in significant and intentional ways, to an adults world on a consistent basis?  Yet in every segment of society we put them in their own separate category and encourage their own separate experiences.  This is no more powerfully felt in today's world than it is in the church. 

At nearly every faith community in this country the only time the family is together is just before they leave their home (most drive two cars) to actually travel to the church gathering.  Upon arriving at church one finds many options to choose from that both encourage and expect this separation (I have heard of some churches that don't allow children to enter the room where adults gather).  Truth be told, most parents long for this - they want to find a church that has 'something for their kids.'  All the while we jump on board this fast moving train while never measuring the unintended consequences of where its track may take us.

So . . . .   WHAT CAN BE DONE?

Inter-generational Community Experiences
If we desire and long for our children to grow and mature into healthy adulthood at an earlier rather than later age (which, by the way has been the norm for centuries), then our young people should be invited into our experience.  They should be given intentional opportunities interact with adults during the more significant moments of adult life (this is, of course, not the only possible solution, but it is certainly one that should take centrality in the discussion).  One way we are attempting to do this at Pillar is by structuring our Sunday morning experience (as well as some of our small group experiences) in a way that encourages, expects and practices inter-generational involvement and interaction. 

As a parent and as a pastor I recognize that significant change occurs incrementally over long periods of time.  While I know that change and development can happen 'in an instant' through the power of the Holy Spirit, I recognize that He often moves through those steady and consistently practiced rhythms or habits.  Therefore, I long for my child to experience and practice these habits in the very same setting in which I practice them.  It is in these settings that he/she notices my own change and the power of habit over my own life.  It is in these settings where my inconsistencies are exposed and remedied.  In these settings my child will hear the same scriptures, songs and prayers, etc. that I hear.  My child will note how I respond to and apply each of these in my own life.  Over time, with consistent exposure to this 'adult' world, my child will intuitively understand (because of experience) what it means to be an adult and all that encompasses (identity formation, purpose, possibility, etc.). 

In other words he or she will catch it by virtue of such consistent and intentional experience and practice.

The Shape of Desire

Biz
Comments and Criticism welcome - More to come . . .