"I would not eat them here or There I would not eat them anywhere. I Would not eat green eggs and ham. I do Not like them Sam I Am."
Ah, yes. Dr. Suess. Many of us have grown up reading and hearing his stories. Green Eggs and Ham no doubt chief among them all. Did you know that his stories were designed to teach us vocabulary words? Knowing this, as a boy, would have ruined the whole experience. The stories captured my imagination first . . . taught vocabulary second. The stories crafted tales of a whimsical nature, tales that could only be created in a robust and fruitful imagination. Yet they were also instructive. The stories repeated a few dozen words that children should know and would be able to use in order to effectively communicate with and connect to the larger world. They taught us, in other words, about reality.
Last night I sat down to dinner. Gathered at the table were my family; my in laws and my niece and nephews. We had an interesting conversation. My children and their cousins carried the heavy lifting in the conversation. That was good. For about three clauses in most of the adults were lost (my father in law didn't make it past the first clause). It was not as much whimsical (Dr. Suess) as it was nonsensical in a uniquely modern way. I will try to capture the thrust of the conversation in 'script' fashion. I hope you can get past the first few clauses.
Teenager: Dad, you have a hulu account . . . you are paying for it monthly. It is a waste of money. It's like netflix, only sorrier.
Dad: I have a what paying where to whom . . .
Pre teen daughter: No, you mean a Vudu account. That is good. Keep it. They have good movies.
Mom (who obviously gets this more than dad): No, we don't pay per month, only per movie . . . but don't you mean a Zune account??
Father In Law: Huh? I haven't understood one word of this conversation.
Dad: Wait a second . . . we have a Hulu, Vudu and a . . . Zune account? Who got all these accounts for us . . . what is Zune? I thought he was a character from the Wrath of Kahn.
Teenager: Dad, I got them . . . err . . . I mean you got them . . . remember when you let me have your credit card number . . .
Mom: You did what with our credit card number?
Pre-Teen Son:Hold on. I will Google Zune from my Droid to see if it is better than Vudu or Hulu . . .
Dad: Life sure was easier when there was only netflix . . . someone google Zune to find out if he was a character in The Wrath of Kahn.
Pre Teen Son: Dad, Google shows nothing about Zune, I will check Bing . . .
Father In Law: Pass the potatoes . . . no need to Google that . . .
Mom: You gave our teenager our credit card number?!?!?
Dad: Hold up a second! I don't want a hulu account, whatever that is . . .
Pre Teen Niece: Uncle Biz, hulu is like skype only better
All Kids In Unison: NOOOOOO, that is oovoo. Oovoo is like skype not hulu . . .
Father In Law: Someone pass the Tylenol
Mom: Honey, should you let me keep the credit cards??
Teen Age Son: So, Dad. Here's the deal. Oovoo is better than skype and not at all like hulu. We like Netflix. We could probably get rid of hulu and keep Vudu because it is a pay go service. We should discard Zune totally . . . by the way, there are no matches on Google or Bing for the Wrath of Kahn and Zune. May I be excused? My buddy in Orlando just facebooked me about playing skyrim with him and some other kids from Eastern Europe.
Father In Law: Finally; some words I understand.
Teenager: You understand Facebook??
Father In Law: No; Eastern Europe.
When the dust settled that night I looked at my wife and said, "I feel like I just entered a parallel universe that is a cross somewhere between Dr. suess and Alice In Wonderland." She laughed a bit. Then she asked me for the credit cards . . .
Okay, back to my Dr. Suess analogy. Dr. Suess used known language in an imaginative way to teach simple vocabulary that helped young people make a significant connection with the adult world and thereby with reality. In modern times we use imaginative words with no contextual meaning in thoroughly normative ways. As such, we break down the meaning between words and reality and thereby aid the collapse of reality itself . . . If Dr. Suess were writing stories today, based on our family dinner conversation (which I confess is by no means normative), it might look something like this:
I would not hulu in a boat
I will not vudu on a float
Nor would I oovoo in a moat wearing a coat as I clear my throat
Try as I might I cannot skype
I might indeed bing, if I were a king.
Okay . . . not quite a Dr. Suess story. Where his stories were whimsical ours have become nonsensical. The difference between whimsical and nonsensical is vast. It might be wise if we adults, supposedly grounded in reality, considered what desires have moved us to this new world we experience. Is there something in both the behavior and language of our young people and culture at large that reveal desires unfulfilled or mis understood?
I wonder what Dr. Suess would say and what stories would be written today . . .
Shaping Desires!
Biz
If you would like to see a clip of Green Eggs and Ham, follow the link below
http://youtu.be/Y-OPnBz6ctU
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