Biz: I hate the Yankees.
Hayla: Huh? I thought we liked the Yankees??
Biz: No. Never has there been a day in my reasonably rational life in which I have liked the Yankees??
Hayla: But . . . we used to have a Yankee hat, remember?
Biz: Yes, that was Luke's when he played Little League a few years ago. I tried to remove him from the team, to no avail.
Hayla: But, why don't you like the Yankees? Is there any situation in which you might pull for them to win?
Biz: Sweetheart. If the team facing the Yankees were comprised of 9 of Hell's most fierce demons, I would still want the Yankees to loose.
Hayla: Dad . . . . you might want to re think that . . .
Melissa (entering the room): What are you guys talking about.
Biz: I hate the Yankees.
There you have it. My public confession of my hatred for these Yankees. Perhaps the only team I like less than the Yankees would be the Jets (Yes! Even with Tebow). A close 'nipping at their heels' third would be the Dallas Cowboys.
Hayla's sage advice (she's only 10), however, haunted me during the day. So, I did exactly what she said - I rethought it. I tried to remember the first moment I could actually recall loathing the Yankees. I could not. I do remember, as a boy of about 10, hearing my father curse George Steinbrenner's name every time it screamed through our TV. It must have begun then. Beyond that, however, I have no rational basis for my hatred (other than being a Braves fan . . .).
In fact, years ago I had the opportunity to be the Baseball Chaplain for the Vero Dodger's several summers in a row. This also brought the added bonus of carrying the Spring Training duties for the big league clubs. I met some Yankees during that time. They were great. Further, there are several on this year's version of the Yankees whom I admire, at least in regard to their baseball prowess. Finally, who could ever, ever hate Joe Torre? Certainly no reasonably minded person.
Perhaps that's it; my hatred of the Yankees is irrational. Irrational hatred will undoubtedly produce irrational behavior. The problem with belief that comes by way of the absence of reason or sound rationale is that believing anything else becomes increasingly more difficult. Even now, as I write this blog, I realize my hatred for the Yankees is untarnished --- please Baltimore, please - spare us another World Series with a Bronx component.
Not long ago a friend and mentor of mine told me something that I have found to be quite true and valuable: "Biz," he said, "you cannot reason someone out of a belief or position that they never reasoned themselves into."
Hmm . . .
I wonder how this might apply to spiritual formation for the sake of others? For some time, now, I have been on a mission to frame Christian Discipleship as a life long journey toward God for the sake of others. Believe it or not, from time to time, I get push back. Much of this push back comes from those who are simply unable to frame Christianity or imagine their walk with the Lord in a new way. Richard Rohr, in Everything Belongs, might say it like this: "Often times, the one 'mountain top' experience they had with the Lord becomes an obstacle to the new."
Yes, we long for 'the way we knew it when . . . ' Irrationally so! Perhaps it was that pastor you dearly loved. Or it might be that style of music you so enjoyed. Better yet - that fantastic Sunday School group that somehow managed to forge deep bonds that no one could have imagined possible. So, you find yourself defining God by how He has behaved in your life rather receiving Him for who He is - as He presents Himself to you. Though not audibly, you quite clearly say : 'no, God - not like this . . . I want . . . I need . . . I . . . I . . . I' You know intuitively that it is you who need Him; now, right now - in this present moment - in any capacity He will so generously offer. Yet you make no adjustment. Rather you 'double down' on your past experience and tighten the already myopic borders of your 'boxed in God.' Eventually - hopefully - before it's too late, you will realize that you have fashioned God after your image rather than accepting and living into the the God who fashions you after His.
It's A Journey No Matter What
This has happened at least once before. I am referring to Jonah. God called him on a journey toward Himself for the sake of others. The journey would go through Nineveh. Problem: Jonah's calling by God didn't match how Jonah imagined God would call or who he imagined God to be. Solution: Jonah did his own thing. He went his own way. He didn't adjust. Rather, he simply 'doubled down' on his past experience and tightened his already myopic borders. Yes. He went to Joppa. A region in the other direction - perhaps as far as you could get away from Nineveh. God, however, does not rest nor does he sleep - He pursues. He is indeed, as Thompson once penned, 'the hound of heaven.'
God took Jonah's boarding pass. He allowed him to forge ahead - in his own way - deep into the sea. Then God . . . enough said: Then God!! You know the rest of the story. I'm not saying that Jonah jumped into the water, but he certainly went for a swim. It was in the wet, dampness of God's pursuit that Jonah found himself . . . that Jonah found his God. It was here in the belly of the great fish where Jonah learned the lesson we all, I guess, are slow to learn: It's a journey no matter what!!
Here's a thought: let go of your need to control and to re-live that once great experience in your life. Let go of your need to understand God (as you have fashioned Him in your own mind). Rather, live in the tension of a journey that doesn't make sense. A journey that defies the latest program, trend, or get fixed quick scam. Realize that He who doesn't let go travels this journey with you and ahead of you - for the sake of yourself and other! God whose endless love is both relentless and magnificent. So much so that you might in fact find that to run away from Him is to run right into Him! Yes, perhaps you simply need to take a journey toward Him for the sake of others . . . pack light - after all you may get wet!
the shape of desire . . . .
Biz
Go Braves . . . err, I mean Orioles (at least for now)
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