Marrionettes, Minaj and Masking our Desires

Bed time comes early in my home.  Our children hate this - it truly cramps their style.  In order to become a non style cramping parent on issues of less importance my wife and I have begun to  allow the kids to stay up later than we do: from time to time.  On the nights in which we allow this extravagance we usually descend the stairwell and check on them and what their viewing habits are as we retire for the night.

This past week we experienced one such night.  Two of our three children were home, resting on the couch as they viewed America's favorite talent search competition: Idol.  When I entered the room, I was taken back by the 'turn over' in Idol judges.  In fact,  there was only one judge that I recognized from previous seasons and, of the four judges, I could not personally identify the fourth and newest judge.  The new judge had a 'plastic' look to her.  If you  have seen The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, the look of the new judge was somewhat akin to the 'supple sheen' of the replacement Clause featured in this film.  I thought even of the marionettes I so loved when watching The Sound of Music as a Child.  She appeared, somewhat like a marionette, to be stiff and plastic - a shell of a being.

So, I asked my eldest (who is 15 years old), "Since when did American Idol start using the Von Trapp children's marionettes as judges?"  He glanced at me with a look that fell somewhere on the continuum of confusion to disgust and simply said: 'huh?'  To which I replied, "you know, the Von Trapp children from The Sound of Music.  There is a scene in this masterpiece where they entertain their father with a puppet show.  The puppets are wooden marionettes - dolls that look almost, nearly human while showcasing human-esque characteristics.  This new Idol judge looks like a 'sport model' version of one of their marionettes.  Of course, the Von Trapp marionettes did not possess (among other traits) the 'dual inflatables' with which this new judge was equipped.  Indeed; it was evident that if her ship struck an ice berg she would be afloat for weeks on end with no fear of drowning.

Aggravated both by my interruption of his viewing enjoyment and my lack of cultural knowledge, my son abruptly snapped: 'That's Nicki Minaj, a huuuuuuge star.'

"Oh, she looks almost human, almost real... But not quite."

"Dad, go to bed."

"Okay, son, you come soon."  (A link for those of you who are unfamiliar with the marionettes of the Von Trapp family:The Lonely Goatherd)

As I ascended my stairwell to join my bride, I reflected on this new judge and how unnatural, to me, she looked.  I do not know her nor have I, to my knowledge, ever heard her sing.  However, I would surmise that she is a talented artist in her own right and her appearance as a judge on American Idol would seem to confirm her success.  If that is not enough, then surely the throngs of teenagers who follow her and love her music must attest to its quality and caliber.

Honestly, her musical talent (or lack thereof) is not my concern.  Rather what struck me was her nearly human appearance - somewhat like a person encased in an outer shell.  In one sense, she appeared to be both there and not there at the same time.  While I do not know what is true of her and what isn't, I did find that a simple Google (this should not be a verb) of her name will direct one to thousands of sights that refer to various surgeries and implants she has endured in order to become encased in a shell.  In  my mind, she has missed her intended target.   No doubt, some will disagree with my assessment of her appearance.  However, I also confess that her intention to become more than she is - or appear that way - is closely tied to an urge we all share; an urge to be more than just 'better' or 'more pleasing,' but to be wholly other.  There is a term that describes the desire to be wholly other.  The term is transfigure, which means "to transform into something more beautiful or elevated."  In short, to be wholly other.  Interesting.  On some levels,  it is quite human to desire and long for the opportunity to be transfigured.

This desire for transfiguration is an inkling which lurks deep within, but often remains buried because we encase rather than release it.  We cover that which is deeply true about us, even as we attempt to become more deeply true.  Our society, culture and personal preference all contribute to the misdirection of this urge.  The urge, so true and so real, expresses itself and society has an answer: "purchase my product and you will be transfigured."  Or, 'read my book and you will be transfigured."  Or, "navigate our web page and become whom you know you are," etc.  So we chase these promises only to remain unfulfilled.  We follow this longing for truth only to be left false: falsely presented, falsely critiqued, falsely accused, falsely condemned.  Perhaps our urge, that truest urge in us, represents more than being transfigured but to be with the One who is transfigured.

If I am correct (and I freely confess my penchant for error), then Augustine's words ring true even now, centuries later, when he confesses: "Thou hast made us for Thyself and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee."  (follow this link for Audrey Assad's brilliant song which captures this truth: Restless)  Yes.  Augustine reveals how our dilemma is solved.  Rather than striving toward being transfigured and finally capturing or becoming the one we currently are not.  Perhaps we should direct this desire toward being with the transfigured One.  The One who is always whom we are not.  For the desire to be transfigured covers our deeper desire, our truest desire, to be with He who is the Transfigured One - already beautiful and elevated.  As long as we satiate this deeper desire with the counterfeit we will continue to long and search.  Crafting meaning for ourselves rather than having meaning crafted within us.

There was a mountain summit long ago on which folks experienced such beauty.  It was the moment in which Jesus was transfigured.  Those around Him were so overwhelmed by the moment that they longed for it to linger.  Indeed, they wanted it to last.  Alas, it did not.  The returned to the valley to face the struggle and fight the suffering.  They sought to resist the urge to replace the transfigured One with the comfort of being transfigured themselves.  This too is our own campaign and as such our war wages on.  Though we will always be able to achieve transfiguration on some level, it will never be enough.  We will always want more, need more and discover more demand as we attempt to be filled.

As you reflect upon that toward which your life gravitates, maybe you have found that your desires, though true have also been twisted.  Perhaps your craving is intended to force you toward One who is Wholly Other rather than striving to become wholly other yourself.  If so, allow me to show you  a prayer you might utter moment by moment.  I found this prayer in an excellent book by Christopher West entitled, Fill These Hearts: God, Sex and the Universal Longing (Fill These Hearts)

Here is the prayer (there are actually three he suggests):

"Lord, I recognize these twisted, lustful desires within me.  Lead me on the journey of untwisting them so that I might come to experience the fullness of eros as a longing for you."

"Lord, I desire you; increase my desire."

"Lord, into your hands I commend the satisfaction of my every desire."

the shape of desire!

Biz

Parenting: An exercise in repetition with the hope of formation!

As a parent of three children who are either in or nearing their teenage years, I am constantly amazed at how often I have to repeat phrases over and over and over again in order to make them to do something that they have, for years, been expected to do.  No doubt many parents struggle with a similar issue.  Here is an example of some of the directives Melissa and I continually repeat, with which our children often struggle:

1. Clean your bedroom.
2. Brush your teeth.
3. Put the toilet seat down (my daughter screams this one all the time).
4. Wash your hands before coming to the dinner table (washing them hours earlier doesn't count toward your dining experience)
5. Put your book bags in your bedrooms.
6. Elbows off the table.
7. Do your homework before you do anything else.
8. Your shoes should be in the walkways only when your feet are actually in them
9. Feed the dog (and, as of Christmas morning, the bunny)
10. Clean the dishes before you leave the kitchen.
11. No, the floor of your closet is not considered a laundry hamper.

There are moments in the midst of the mind numbing and frustrating repetition of these basic directives when my anger spikes.  I become aggravated, uttering words such as 'when are you going to get it, this is not rocket science,' or some other up lifting word/phrase of encouragement we parents tend to say.  These moments are usually glorious times of family unity and harmony around which we rally and in which we thrive (note to the to the inattentive reader: that was sarcasm).

There are, however, other moments.  Moments when I remember that the formation of human life (even the type of formation which is basic) requires hard work, effort and a tremendous reliance upon perseverance.  In these moments,  I see the joy in the repetition.  I envision the fruit yet to come from the labor presently practiced.  Yes, in these moments, I remember that being fully human requires something more of me in a fallen and sin stained world.  It requires my participation in matters of life that matter. .. the development of the habits that lead to the practices of behavior that provide one (in this case the children whom I dearly love) with a path toward a future far more rewarding and hope-filled than the moment in which the struggle persists.  So we repeat ourselves again and again and again and again.  Eventually, we hope, they will accomplish the task apart from and independent of our repetitive refrain.

I find this struggle I experience in parenting to be true in all other areas of my life.  Particularly in the area of Spiritual Formation.  Spiritual formation takes resolve and repetition.  These two traits are increasingly difficult to attain in a culture saturated with instant gratification or a church driven by 'Burger King' theology - your way, right away... at  ___________ (insert favorite church, ministry, charlatan here) now.

In fact, most of us who attend church on a regular basis (that means more than twice a month, which has probably ruled out most of my readers) would be hard pressed to point to how such attendance as formed us into the image of Christ.  We would certainly point to thoroughly invigorating programs and exciting new principles.  Perhaps we could even talk about the delightful personality and integrity of the new pastor on staff (as if that is an exception to the rule).  We might even reflect on, with a glassy eyed wonderland nostalgia, a small group or Sunday school class that we loved. .. one that made a deep impression on us at one time in some way.  

Yes.  In these moments of 'glory days' reflection, we tend to fool ourselves into believing that we have advanced in our spiritual walk.  This is of course a self defense mechanism that prevents us form unearthing why we are still stuck and how might become unstuck.  Such rationale, while keeping us faithful in our church attendance, prevents us from assessing our deepest desires and attempting to slay them under the kingship of Christ.  Such thinking, in short, allows us to remain satisfied as beings who are relentlessly dissatisfied.

The reason our churches are long on programs and short on transformation is because we have long since departed from the work of rigorous and life changing spiritual formation.  Spiritual formation requires that the church participate in matters of life that matter.  Spiritual formation further requires that the church view worship as a community endeavor or practice rather than an individually fulfilling experience.  The former is the exclusive realm of the people of faith, the latter is a product of a 'consumer' culture that can be achieved through a variety of mechanisms and experiences.

Even as you read these thoughts, you are saying: but wait a minute - my church is a community.  Perhaps.  But are the practices (habits and disciplines) of your church communal?  An easy way to assess such is to consider your initial thoughts and reactions upon exiting church week in and week out.  Are your thoughts geared toward what you 'got out of the service' (i.e., how it made you feel)?  Or, are they thoughts which consider how your life has been shaped by the experience.  Do you consider the worship experience to be a practice of repeating the things that matter most in a participatory way which shapes your desires toward Christ and His Kingdom?  Truthfully most of us care far more about how we feel than how we have been shaped.  The reason for this is that the 'right feeling' can be achieved in a moment between just you and Jesus.  The right 'shaping' on the other hand occurs over time and participation as you repeatedly practice that which matters most.

Yes.  Church much like parenting should be a glorious exercise in the practices which shape our life toward God's good for His glory.  There is transformative power in such a church and those who faithfully participate will intuitively bring God's kingdom to bear on all of life!

How is the church shaping your desire?  It will do so (as do all things) in one of two ways: back toward you, or forward toward Him.

the shape of desire.

Biz