Statistics reveal a significant portion of women and a majority of men struggle with or are addicted to porn (http://www.xxxchurch.com/extras/pornographystatistics.html). In other words, if you are in a Starbucks right now, there are people around you caught up in this disastrous world of desire distorted! Checking out in the '10 item only' line? Yep. In the church? Yep (maybe the person preaching to you). At your place of work? You Betcha!
These realities remain hidden because porn is a ‘silent enemy,’ which causes us to live in fear and isolation (if you are caught up in porn, then you know this is true). Fear and Isolation - the two headed demon of distorted desire - lead us deeper into the distorted desires from which we long to be released. It's as if we become zombie-like – lifelessly and uncontrollably staggering along. We simply never get enough. There are some outcomes of this distortion that affect every level of our existence!
One of the first distortions is committed against our person-hood. As someone made in the image of God, this is paramount to all of us. The more we view porn the less human we become and the less able are we to view others as fully human. Indeed, people become objects or tools to be used toward our own selfish ends. Secondly, porn diminishes desire. The more we consume the fantasy world of porn, the less we hunger for the fully human world in which we live.
Thirdly, porn diminishes vision and thereby destroys hope. This is important. If you are viewing porn, then you are losing your sight. Such myopia will only keep you staggering in a state of hopeless panic, unaware of the natural and sacred beauty all around you. It is, alas, a journey to death. It is often a painful and agonizing death by degrees. On a cultural level, porn diminishes civility and creates a culture of violence and rape. If we accept the first three, then this is a natural outcome. Ultimately, we become the isolated islands of shame and guilt our porn consumption inhabits.
There are, however, some things you can do to live free! Let me pass on the things that I have found most helpful in my own journey.
First you must admit that you are where you are. Secondly, get help. If porn thrives in the soil of isolation, it is starved in the richness of community. I recommend seeking help from the folks at xxx.church. These guys get it. Click the following link: http://www.xxxchurch.com/
You must confess your addiction to your loved one(s). Confession is not an apology. Apologies suck. In our culture - where we say ‘sorry’ for everything and take responsibility for nothing - apologies are cancerous. If you’re going to say 'I'm sorry,' just shut-up. Yes, you heard me. Close your mouth. You're not ready. Confession should be full and complete. Anything less will wreck the healing process and cause further damage to yourself and those you love.
Finally, you must know that you are accepted and loved! You are more than your addiction says you are! This journey is painful, so you need to hang on to the hope of a gracious God who has guided you to this step and will hold you in your pain and suffering of this step.
Finally, you must know that you are accepted and loved! You are more than your addiction says you are! This journey is painful, so you need to hang on to the hope of a gracious God who has guided you to this step and will hold you in your pain and suffering of this step.
shape of desire,
Biz
Biz
xxx.church has allowed me to write for them from time to time. A couple of my blogs are linked below. One details how I stumbled into porn, the other the value of community! http://www.xxxchurch.com/blogauthorbiz-gainey.html
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