Habits that shape our Love of the Game!

How often have you been aware of God's presence within the last 24 hours?  Once?  Twice?  Not at all?  Being aware of the presence of God requires focus.  Our normal routines do not lend themselves to easily detecting and responding to the presence of God.  While we may not be able to change our routines (wake up, eat, work, exercise, read, spend time with others, etc.) we might be able to establish habits that would 'open' us to God's presence in and through our daily routine.  So, in this blog I pose the following question:

What habit(s), I wonder, might we practice that would aid us in our quest to 'celebrate the presence of God'?

I love the game of baseball.  I love every level; from the tiniest t-baller to the most overpaid professional.  Baseball is a game of focus and habits.  When I coached little league I often experienced a 'bird's eye view' of this reality.  As I taught 'habits' to the boys and girls I also encouraged them to focus on doing the right things.   Habit formation in little league ball players began with discovering what I called counter intuitive behavior.  For instance, rather than trying to dodge a fast moving ball bouncing precariously on the hardened clay, I coached them to get in the way of the ball.  Counter intuitive behavior.  Of course I would coach them in steps - one habit at a time -  and helped them practice the necessary habits once learned.  I would, for example, show them how to 'square their shoulders,' 'stay on their toes,' 'put their glove hand out front,' 'keep their rear down,' etc.    Over time they would no longer think of this as 'counter intuitive' - the thought would become habit - their body would take over and the habit would control their actions.  A young player early in the season, who practiced the habits consistently was a markedly different player by the time the season came to a close.

One of the difficulties we always faced was the fans.  Every boy and girl always wanted to please their parents, grand parents, friends, etc. (the sooner a parent learns this simple truth, the easier the game becomes for the player (and coach)).  In fact, it was not uncommon for them to be so concerned about how the fans were responding that their level of play would fall off considerably - terrible cycle.  So, as a coach, it was my job to teach them focus (and keep the fans as quite and kind as possible - the former was definitely more achievable than the latter).  I would often say, 'it is just you and the ball.  Nothing more, nothing less.'  The players who grabbed this concept always seemed to function better.  This simple idea allowed them to freely lean into and execute the habits they had practiced.  In my mind, we as Christians would do well to develop this type of focus as a habit.  We need a regular rhythm that pushes out all the distractions and enables us to be more in tune with God's Presence and His Spirit on a daily basis.

Perhaps a fictitious baseball player named Billy Chapel might provide insight into this quest. Billy Chapel is the famed (though fictitious) baseball player featured in the film, For the Love of the Game. The film utilizes baseball (actually one game of baseball; a 'perfect game') as a metaphor for life; its dreams, desires and disasters. As the film unfolds Billy, at the twilight of his career, is pitching a perfect game (for those of us who do not follow baseball, that means he has faced the minimum number of batters, allowing no hits in the process).  Throughout the game, as he is on the mound, his thoughts drift to unfulfilled dreams, dashed hopes, and missed opportunities.  Added to all of this, the setting is the Bronx where the fans are infamous for distractions.  In nearly every scene the Yankee fans seek to confound this present moment - that of throwing a perfect game. In order to overcome these distractions, he developed a habit he called, 'clearing the mechanism.' It was quite simple. He would 'center' himself on what mattered and only what mattered.  In this moment of 'centering' he would say to himself, "clear the mechanism." 

Thirty Second Clip from "The Love of the Game"

http://youtu.be/WF8KJZev7u0

For centuries Christians of various stripes have practiced a habit called 'The Examen.' The Examen is a weekly and daily rhythm of 'self examination' - it is the practice of 'clearing the mechanism.'  Ruth Haley Barton, in her book, Sacred Rhythms, suggests that we practice this habit within the context of God's amazing grace as we retire at the end of each day. She even gives us some helpful questions we might ask:

How was God present with me today?

What promptings did I notice?

How did I respond or not respond?

If your are like me, then you struggle with remaining aware of and celebrating the continuous presence of God.  Take a moment tonight and try clearing the mechanism.  If this helps you focus, then take this habit to work.  Stop at lunch and practice and see if your routine becomes a moment of celebration.  Over time, it is habits such as this that lead to human flourishing and a real experience of 'loving the game' - distractions and all!!

the shape of desire.

Biz

Since When Did 30 Become the New 18 and Why is That Okay?

Emerging Adulthood.  That's the new name for an entire generation of humanity caught somewhere between the ages of 18 and 30 with no clue about what it means to be an Adult.  There are many interesting articles and books that note this phenomenon.  Much of the current scholarship (though not all) is consumed with dubbing this 'postponed adulthood' as unavoidable to modern life.  In fact, one such author encourages us to accept its permanency and learn to cope with it as a fixed cultural reality.  I, however, do not believe it is a phenomenon we need to accept.  Rather, I suspect that it must be reversed and will suggest at least one practice/habit which holds both the promise and power of change.

An example of this phenomenon is captured the following quote taken from a 2010 article in the NY Times Magazine:

"The 20s are a black box, and there is a lot of churning in there. One-third of people in their 20s move to a new residence every year. Forty percent move back home with their parents at least once. They go through an average of seven jobs in their 20s, more job changes than in any other stretch. Two-thirds spend at least some time living with a romantic partner without being married. And marriage occurs later than ever. The median age at first marriage in the early 1970s, when the baby boomers were young, was 21 for women and 23 for men; by 2009 it had climbed to 26 for women and 28 for men, five years in a little more than a generation." http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?pagewanted=all

The author in the above article cites the work of Jeffery Arnett (a leading voice on this cultural phenomenon) when explaining what is taking place during these important years.  Arnett, who embraces this phenomenon as one that is here to stay, notes five characteristics of this transition:

1. Identity Exploration
2. Instability
3. Self Focus
4. Feeling in - between
5. Sense of Possibility

Stop.  Read them again.  Sounds like my middle school er.  Seriously.  Arnett notes the uniqueness of these five characteristics to this new phase of life.  But, if you are a parent of anyone ages 8 - 15 then you have already noticed all five of these taking place in the life of your child - sometimes all at once (those moments are called train wrecks).  Yes, what he describes as a unique profile to this age or season is in anything but unique.

So, here is where I differ with current and prevailing thought on the subject.  What is being described as a new reality to embrace, should be recognized as a failure to fully engage our young people in significant adult centered moments during their formative years.  While the current question being asked is 'how can this phenomenon be embraced and encouraged?'  The question we should be asking is, 'Why has this happened and what can be done to reverse the trend?'

WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED?
There are many reasons why this has happened which date back as far as the Industrial Revolution and the Enlightenment Period.  If I were to write a book on the subject (which I am neither inclined nor equipped to do), I would list the following 'cultural indicators' that help us identify the why behind the is:

1. A Culture of Age Segregation.
2. A Culture of Instant Gratification.
3. A Culture of Entitlement.
4. A Culture of Virtual Reality.
5. A Culture of Over Protective and Fear - Filled parents.

All five are important.  But in my mind these five form something like a funnel whereby those that follow build upon those that have gone before.  Thus in this model Age Segregation is the chief culprit - the core around which the others find their place and power.  If one esteems the value of 'age segregation' as we have in this country, then one needs to prepare themselves for the outcomes.  Age segregation is the doorway into the world of instant gratification, entitlement mentality, virtual reality and over protection. If we can effectively address this, then the others may actually self-correct.

A Culture of Age Segregation.  In nearly every phase of a young person's life,  his or her activities involve little or no significant interaction with adults in their community and their world.  The importance of this cannot be overstated.  If we believe the truth behind the cliche, 'more is caught than taught,' then much of what our young people learn (i.e. 'catch') is that which comes from their peers, not from adults.  Ouch.

What power might there be in a young person's life if they were exposed, in significant and intentional ways, to an adults world on a consistent basis?  Yet in every segment of society we put them in their own separate category and encourage their own separate experiences.  This is no more powerfully felt in today's world than it is in the church. 

At nearly every faith community in this country the only time the family is together is just before they leave their home (most drive two cars) to actually travel to the church gathering.  Upon arriving at church one finds many options to choose from that both encourage and expect this separation (I have heard of some churches that don't allow children to enter the room where adults gather).  Truth be told, most parents long for this - they want to find a church that has 'something for their kids.'  All the while we jump on board this fast moving train while never measuring the unintended consequences of where its track may take us.

So . . . .   WHAT CAN BE DONE?

Inter-generational Community Experiences
If we desire and long for our children to grow and mature into healthy adulthood at an earlier rather than later age (which, by the way has been the norm for centuries), then our young people should be invited into our experience.  They should be given intentional opportunities interact with adults during the more significant moments of adult life (this is, of course, not the only possible solution, but it is certainly one that should take centrality in the discussion).  One way we are attempting to do this at Pillar is by structuring our Sunday morning experience (as well as some of our small group experiences) in a way that encourages, expects and practices inter-generational involvement and interaction. 

As a parent and as a pastor I recognize that significant change occurs incrementally over long periods of time.  While I know that change and development can happen 'in an instant' through the power of the Holy Spirit, I recognize that He often moves through those steady and consistently practiced rhythms or habits.  Therefore, I long for my child to experience and practice these habits in the very same setting in which I practice them.  It is in these settings that he/she notices my own change and the power of habit over my own life.  It is in these settings where my inconsistencies are exposed and remedied.  In these settings my child will hear the same scriptures, songs and prayers, etc. that I hear.  My child will note how I respond to and apply each of these in my own life.  Over time, with consistent exposure to this 'adult' world, my child will intuitively understand (because of experience) what it means to be an adult and all that encompasses (identity formation, purpose, possibility, etc.). 

In other words he or she will catch it by virtue of such consistent and intentional experience and practice.

The Shape of Desire

Biz
Comments and Criticism welcome - More to come . . .

The Power of Presence

The 'power of presence' is terribly undervalued in our society.  I think this is so because we desperately want to be fixed, healed or delivered.  For moments requiring (or desiring) deliverance or repair mere presence seems simply insufficient.  As a husband and father I have learned the value of mere presence and the power it provides in life's most difficult moments.  There are three moments that stand out as the most difficult in my life; listed below in order of the difficulty:

1. March 2007.  The moment Melissa was not only told that she had cancer, but also experienced an excruciating extraction of bone marrow (taken from her spine) to see just how wide spread the cancer was.
2. July 2002. The moment Melissa was rushed to the Emergency Room as a result of a wreck on an ATV that I had been driving.  The impact collapsed a lung.  I was privy to the insertion of a tube designed to heal the lung.  They drove this two-foot long tube through the side of her body without the benefit of anesthetic - not fun.
3. Yesterday, April 2012.  The moment my daughter cried my name, 'daddy, daddy, daddy' as her badly broken right arm had to be 're-set' in order for it to heal properly.  She simply stared at me with tears streaming down her face.  Her eyes telling me what her mouth could not express: 'please protect me, please deliver me, please take me out of here so I don't have to endure this pain.'  AUGH!!

Painful moments.  In each instance I would have rather endured the pain myself.  In each instance I desired to do something to remove them from the experience; to take care of them.  In each instance I would have picked them up, wrapped them in my arms, and left in defiance.  In each instance I could do none of those things.  No.  All I could do was be with them.  Powerless.

Such experiences tend to mark a man.  But not as one might think.  I could easily be marked as impotent and insufficient in the greatest moment of need.  I could be marked as a weakling.  I could, in fact, be dogged at every turn by my lack of ability to change the situation and to deliver my loved ones.  Yet, by God's grace, I have been marked in a different way.  Upon reflection I have seen that my presence was the most valuable gift I could give.  It spoke volumes that my action could not speak.  In a world where doing is everything, these moments have reminded me that being provides much hope and surety in life's most difficult moments.

Yes.  Being with them enabled them to take their focus off of the situation at hand.  Being with them allowed them to squeeze my hand until it was purple.  Being with them allowed them to cry freely and to do so knowing that one was crying with them.  Being with them allowed them to know that they would not face this moment alone.  Though I did not do anything, being with them demonstrated love, loyalty and commitment.  Being with them demonstrated that I would not forsake them in their time of need (of course, fainting was not out of the question).  Being with them revealed that though I felt inadequate and weak in that moment I would not allow such feelings to imprison me and cause them to fear.  No.  I would be with them no matter what.

This experience of being with them elevates my awareness of and desire for He whose presence is so much more powerful than my own.  Even when He would not to change a situation or remove me from a situation, it is enough to know that He is with me in the midst of the situation.  I ask you the question this experience has caused me to ask myself . . .

"Is His presence enough? If not, why?"

The signature theme of Scripture can be summed up in three words: God With Us!  God with us is the experience of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob as the forefathers of our faith. God with us is the experience of  Moses and the Israelites as they journeyed through the wilderness.  God with us is the experience of those of us impacted by the incarnation; the birth of the Christ who is called Immanuel (God with Us). 

Through the ages this has been the message God has most longed to share.  Through the ages this has been the message we have been most eager to change.  Rather than God With Us, we have cried out, 'God Work for Us.'  When God doesn't work (as we define work) for us, then we cry out, 'God where are you'.  What bitter irony occurs when we confuse doing with being.  As such we are unable to see that being is the most important doing ever offered.

I speak from personal experience.  Desire being.  Desire His presence.  All other desires are off kilter and wrongly directed.

By the way.  When I tucked my daughter into bed last night she said, "Thanks, Daddy.  Thanks for being there with me today."  Moments like that provide the coal that fuels desire!

the shape of desire
Biz

What the 'Hunger Games Trilogy' reveals about Desire wrongly shaped

Desire wrongly shaped may result in a person wrongly aimed. A person wrongly aimed may result in a community poorly constructed.  A community poorly constructed may result in a culture badly disfigured.  A culture badly disfigured may result in a world marred beyond recognition, dripping with the blood of its youngest - sacrificed on the altars of greed and selfishness.  All this a consequence of Desire wrongly shaped.  This is at the heart of the lesson the Hunger Games Trilogy teaches and the warning it reveals!

You will not find this lesson in the film version of the first installment of this trilogy.  Yes, the movie version has been toned down to appeal to a wider audience.  As such, it has lost it's ability to reveal and warn.  Indeed, the movie falls into the tireless category of the modern day head strong heroine fighting against the odds for the salvation of us all.  Therefore, it is important to read this musing as a reflection on the Trilogy itself (which I read and thoroughly enjoyed (despite its gratuitous violence) - primarily due to its cultural commentary).

Allow me a moment to capture my impression of the trilogy to set the stage for my comments.  The Trilogy opens with at story of fear based upon the nightmares of a family - the Everdeen's - which turn out to be more real during the waking than the sleeping hours.  We find ourselves lodged in a world that has been subdued through centuries of violence and and life demeaning abuse of authority and power.  The penultimate example of this is the reaping - the annual 'offering to the capital' that simultaneously reminds the citizen's of their own weakness while providing for the only shred of hope they have - a victor's return with a year of the spoils.

The 'Capital' is the fullest expression of a community with misdirected desires.  Over time, the Capital (District 1 in the Trilogy), has become obsessed with self absorption and self preservation.  Their insatiable desire toward themselves has lead them to victimize every citizen of the land - most particularly those in District 1 - who, ironically enough, receive the most benefit of the Capital's excess.  In fact, inspite of the benefit of both proximity and pedigree, District 1 inhabitants are pictured as nearly human, almost functioning citizen's whose elaborate way of life and eccentricities are noticed by everyone but themselves.

The other Districts (2 - 12) are also victimized in different, but no less significant ways.  Ultimately (as is always the case) the greatest victim of them all is the children.  Any culture, during any time, that turns inward on itself and bases its moral compass on its own 'self direction' (which is mis-direction) will always victimize and sacrifice its youngest and weakest.  I have observed the following three ways I believe the Hunger Games Trilogy reveals a culture's mis shaped desires (i.e., desire shaped back toward oneself) lead to the sacrifice its youngest and weakest.  As you read them, ask yourself - do we experience some of this today?

Deprivation
By this I mean that those who are the youngest and weakest amongst us are deprived of the basic essentials that help form a flourishing and fully human life.  In the Trilogy this exists everywhere, save the Capital, District 1.  While everyone experiences this deprivation, we feel its pain through the story the children tell in the voices of Katniss, Peeta, Prim, Rue, and Cato most notably.

Detachment
By this I mean that those who are the youngest and weakest amongst us are detached from significant personal and communal relationships that help form a flourishing and fully human life.  In the Trilogy we note this at the turn of every page.  Trust is a commodity not afforded the children.  They are in every conceivable way detached from one another, adults, the authorities, themselves.  The only semblance of attachment is found in Gale and Katniss's relationship which is discovered in those moments when they manage to escape the Capital's 'ever seeing eye.'  It is a culture marked by mistrust, broken relationships, deception.  Its result is a life lived without dignity and without hope. 

Desperation
By this I mean that those who are the youngest and weakest amongst us are left without the hope of the righteousness and justice that help form a flourishing and fully human life.  Therefore, they are encouraged to act desperately, particularly if such action is the only means of survival available to them.  Katniss acts in desperation to save her younger sister, Prim, from being 'reaped.'  Gale acts in desperation to save his district (book 2).  Peeta acts in desperation to feed Katniss.  There is no sense of righteousness or justice to be achieved or even hoped.  No.  One must take matters into one's own hands and behavior must be justified by the ends it achieves.

The question this Trilogy has forced me to ask myself is this: 'Toward what (or whom) are my desires aimed and where might that take me?'  Indeed, where might that take us all?

the shape of desire

Biz

Earth Shaping

They were frightened and cloistered behind close doors.  The bitter irony: it was resurrection day.  Yes.  The first Resurrection Day.  The stone had been rolled away.  The tomb was empty.  The burial clothes left behind in the tomb. The body gone. 

Taken? 
Stolen? 
Misplaced?

Any of these options would have been easier to believe and, quite frankly reason for fear, than Resurrected.  The women had already seen him.  He had already confirmed what their eyes had told their hearts was a lie: He was risen.

So, why were they behind closed doors?  What possible reason could they have to be frightened if indeed this Jesus had actually accomplished what He set out to accomplish?  I don't know the answer to that, but I suspect it had to do with the reason we remain frightened even today.

We lack sight.  At the core of our beings - that part of us that is most central to who we are, that part of us that shapes our behavior - we lack sight.  We are unable to see that God's ultimate purpose is Communion.  He longs for communion with us.  This is how He began this journey (Genesis 1).  This is how He continues this journey (John 1) and this is how He will culminate this journey (Revelation 21 and 22).  We, however, are dulled by our fears and the distractions which so occupy our existence.  More than dulled; blinded.

The central and stand apart truth of the Christian narrative is that 'God is with us.'  He abides with us and He invites us to abide in Him.  This has 'earth shaping' power, yet we humans remain impervious to its power and continue to chase after desire shaped by fear; behind closed doors.  Indeed, this power literally shaped the earth.  It did so at creation: 'In the beginning GOD.'  It did so at the resurrection: the sky was blackened (mourning) and the stone was rolled away (release).  It will do so at the restoration (a new heavens and earth).  Why has this 'earth shaping' power become to us a faint whisper in a sea of chatter?  Because we are dulled.  More than dulled; blinded.  More than blinded; deafened.

Perhaps it will take a 'shock' to our system to shape us toward Him again?  The shock required, the one of which we are in desperate need, is that of 'being with Jesus.'  He is as He was and as He will be: standing among us (John 20:19 - 23). 

Why can we not see?

Whe can we not hear?

Why are not shaped?

the shape of desire
Biz