Wednesday, July 24, 2013

It is the Table of the Lord

Earlier this week Melissa and I spent some time together practicing an ancient Christian Discipline called contemplative or sacred reading (this discipline is one in which we read a passage of Scripture together several times.  After each reading, we sit in silence, praying for God to reveal to us His message from the passage).  During this time a phrase came to me that I chewed on for a couple of days until the following poem came forth.  It is a poem considering the experience of Communion.

I invite you to read the poem and spend some time with it.  The more I dabble in this form of art the more I realize how deeply personal it is and how difficult it is to translate the message with mere words on a page (or web browser in this case).  Indeed, I think it might be best if I actually recorded it audibly or via video so that you are able to hear the cadence, the pauses and the various pronunciations of words and turns of phrase.  

However, if you take a moment and sit with this piece and attempt to take it in, I believe you might capture the sense of wonder and awe inherent in its words.  In other words I suspect some amount of effort will be required on your part.  At the end of the poem, I will spend some time explaining it, but I would rather you read the work itself first, then seek the explanation after you draw your own conclusions (Of course, as with everything I have written thus far, I am not sure the poem is complete just yet).

As always, feedback is welcome.  Even that which is negative will be considered carefully if disseminated properly (in other words, as Woody (Toy Story) said to Sid, "Play NICE!")!  At any rate, thank you for your time!

IT IS THE TABLE OF THE LORD
Biz Gainey

I sit as a guest
At a table not my own.
Though a comfortable discomfort
I am welcomed;
I am known.
Helplessly;
Wonderfully;
Lovingly;
I’m Home!

Those who dance adorned in splendor,
Those who sing the soul to render
One who did so gasp  . . .
Humbly ready, now surrender.
And how the wine does flow;
Oh and how the wine does flow!

I sit as a guest
At a table not my own.
Sights unseen, the eyes astound
Sheer light caresses in the wind
His touch arouses that most hidden
He invites all who dine;
Come in.

Gowned august and robed as royal
Found without fault or blight
To dine in His presence with each other
Life tastes of sheer delight.

I sit as a guest
At a table not my own.
To reach, to take, so easy
The lavish feast I’m set before
Yet I sit in silence
Humbled
By the host whose eyes now bore
Such warmth into my core

Hands extended though all striving ceased
Before this food that lay me bare
Whittled
Chiseled
Free indeed
At His abundant fare

I see you though you see me not
All ye who long to dine
You eyes betray your real dis ease
Scream, “Invite me” . . .
As though that place were mine

Memory of this moment my thoughts
Stored on His mind
He speaks with silent voice
I hear with ears un seen
Reminded in His dear presence
We must all be invited
by the King
For I dine with others still
Not too different or alike
Guest gathered at His table
In this company we so delight

I sit as a guest
At a table not my own.
The journey is a long one
The path is muddied clear
I cannot invite you to join me
But I know the one you hear
Who speaks with voiced silence
You heed not though you know
That to dine as guest at his table
Means your pride you must swallow
Release is what’s required
To feast so lavishly yet rare
Surrender joy to He whose joy
Is magnified in this fine fare

I sit as a guest
At table not my own
This day we dine together
Here in this space of peace
Where heart, soul, mind and body
Taste freedom’s true release.

Explanation
The title is important as it captures the thrust of the entire poem: the table belongs to God. You will note this theme captured in the phrase that came to me during my time with Melissa: 

"I sit as a guest
At a table not my own."

This idea of being an invited 'guest' is the primary metaphor of the entire poem!

Stanzas 1 - 6 comprise the bulk of the story and attempt to capture the joy inherent in dining with the King.  There is abundance, there is song and dance, wine flowing - a true moment of celebration. There is also a subtle (though minor) tension.  The guest longs to 'reach out and take,' but is overwhelmed and sits in humility to receive.  The guest is finally and at once, home!!

Stanzas 7 - 8 are interesting to me.  In total candor, I am not sure they (7 and 8) should be included in the poem.  I am introducing a perspective that tends to move the story in another direction.  I have left them in because it represents a reality we all deal with: we long for others to join us at the table, but know that it is not in our power to grant them a seating.  In essence that is what these stanzas attempt to capture. The guest is suddenly aware of others who are watching, yet remain distant.  He sees them in a way they are unable to see themselves - a gift reserved for those who dine.  As such, he hears a scream unsaid yet very real.  Alas, he cannot invite them - He is a guest in a delightful company who all share a common reality - they have been invited by the King.

Stanza 9 is a moment in which the guest engages those who do not dine in the only way he/she can - encouragement to hear and see for the very first time.  Embedded here is an important posture that we all must have before the King and at his table: humility and surrender.  Here the great human obstacle to faith is met head on (no it's not intellect or experience, it is simply pride), addressed forthrightly, yet with compassion and desire.  Note this stanza does not diminish the tension of 'hearing and seeing' rightly.  Phrases like 'muddied clear,' and 'voiced silence' attempt to convey the very real tension we experience as we journey this life together.

Stanza 10 is an exclamation mark on the entire piece.  To dine with the king is not merely to occupy a place, but a space - in other words because of this experience every space occupied by our bodies can now be (is) a space of freedom and true release.  The word usage is important and it is intended to convey the reality that to participate in communion is to have it change us - to transform us over time and to be captured by the vision of an eternal unending feast that changes the space we inhabit on a moment by moment basis!

Grace and Peace

Sunday, July 21, 2013

I Long

Another poem exercising my 'right brain.'  I hope you enjoy!

I Long
By Biz Gainey

I long
Awake.
I lay
   yearn
   desire
   long!

A well kept day secret 
   weeps in 
   a crevice in the night.
Warming
Haunting
Burning!
Quenched and parched
   Filled and thin!

Is this as it should be
    as it ought?
For when one longs no longer
    does one cease?  Is one dead?
No, numb.
Starved by addiction
Filled by angst;
Thined
Hollowed
Shallowed
Wearied
Worn!

I long and hear
"I thirst."

I too thirst
Yet I bleed not;

I thirst
Yet I sacrifice not;

I thirst
Yet I strain not;

"I thirst"
His thirst is
Thirst aright.

I thirst.
My thirst is
Tilted bent;
Un satisfyingly satisfying
I lay cored
   longing no longer
Agony!

Yet my longing lurks!
In my longing I see
   my only hope;
To be filled by he who thirsts
    who invites.

Drink from a cup
    eat from a table;
Dine, Dine with Me!
Long, but dine!

I long
This is as it ought be;
I drink
I dine with he who thirsts
    fills
    loves me
To thirst for more!

Longing ceased.
Dine with Me!
Drink with Me!
Dine alone no longer!
Drink alone no longer!
I long . . . 

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Here it goes . . . a poem, written by yours truly, for all to see!

This poem,  Just Passin Thru, attempts to capture the world as one set on 'razor's edge' and the wisdom of a wise old sage who, in simple fashion, encourages a younger man/womanto ease his/her grip. The thrust is to remind us that we are but passin thru and our best life is yet to come. Indeed, it is a life which may well be determined or shaped in the context of the life we live now.  

Just Passin Thru
By Biz Gainey

Just passin thru, said the old man to one
Bloodshot through the eyes, veins now come undone shaped by the space
Our heart does control through good or ill
Joy, might, love and fright
Life
This life is as but a blink

A simple space may seem as time in a dream
We are shaped and formed by the grip which we hold the vein stretched response too easily we unfold
By its force we are seized
Eyes and hands reveal
Life
The life in deep bleed

Yes, ease dear child
Run the red from your grip! Loose the chain to your lip! Free yourself be not bound
In this place is one found as
Children formed in
Life
The life in rich ground

We ascend and descend this space by degrees
This cacophonous life ill at ease in such fear gripped blood wretched pain not unborn
disfigure the silence and sound and the form
We find deep truth in mockeries’ scorn
Life
This Life oh so tattered and torn

So relent let the heart beat at ease
Released by the fear which so easily seize light in the eyes peace now to see
captured by love and life’s gentle breeze
we find old words spoken so true
Life
This life, we are just passin thru